The Gender Game

I have found that when one announces the impending arrival of a little, wriggly baby, one of the first questions (after the congratulations and excitement) is whether or not one will find out the gender of the baby before he/she arrives. It's perfectly understandable - in an age where technology has come leaps and bounds past the early shadowy ultrasounds of decades past (we actually saw examples of 3rd trimester ultrasounds in the late 1970s compared to those of today - the contrast was absolutely mind boggling), most parents opt to find out the sex of the baby once technology and the baby's development make it possible to do so.

For the longest time, I was really split on this big decision - to find out or not, what to do? On one hand, there was the practical, pragmatic side of finding out - while I am staunchly in favor of gender-neutral clothing/decorations/anything, it is a simple fact that sometimes one has to choose the "girl" or "boy" option when using the radar gun to choose that perfect item. On the other hand, there is something pretty spectacular about not finding out until the little one enters the world.

I came to a realization one day, though, that I wanted my husband to have the decision over whether or not we'd find out the gender of the baby. By definition, I'm closer to the entire process - while it still feels surreal that there is life developing inside of me (made more surreal by the lack of any of the "normal" pregnancy symptoms), I will be the one getting the kicks and nudges from within. In allowing him sole responsibility over this decision, I hope he gets something special in the process - while it is all special, I wanted this to be completely his, completely for him to have control over.

He's decided that he wants to find out - I think the practical/pragmatic reasons won him over - so we will hopefully find out this Friday whether it's a boy or a girl. And while this does not mean that we will run out and register for pink/purple or blue/green in force, perhaps it will make everything just that much closer to real.